God said "NO!!"

This post will touch on my religion, so pls read only of you are comfortable with it. =)

Clarissa: Hey God, how now brown cow? Yes or no? I really hope You'll give a YES as it's been my dream for about 3 years!

God: N-O, NO!

Clarissa: WHY??!! Is it not right to want to do something for my country and why don't You grant me my wish of going overseas?

God: - silence-

So that's it, God decided not to give me a government scholarship, a wound that has yet to heal till now. The wound tears again and again when anyone asks me about my undergraduate studies. It's liken to the wound I had on my knee last year. The wound simply tears when i jump or run(during trainings), hence it took very long to heal. And tearing open a recovering wound is just as, if not more painful than first having it. It's been about 3 mths, but i still feel the pain. I feel that God is playing a joke on me.

Firstly, He gave me a set of fabulous results which I've never ever dreamt of getting. Secondly, I got into 2 out of 3 U.S. universities that I've applied. Thirdly, things were going well seemingly as I got into 2nd round of the interviews. Then things started to turn ugly. I started to think more about my major, as my interviewers gave some feedback on it. In about 1-2 mths, the final verdict is out. My world collapsed. I'm torn between local and overseas education. I emo-ed for almost 2 mths. It's also the amt of time I took before making the decision. Travelling for almost 1mth was useful, coz i got to escape from reality for some time. I didn't think abt it as I was playing so hard, and simply fell into a sound sleep after a day of activities. I woke up the next day, and started playing again. I hardly spoke a word when I was home. I simply unpacked, repacked, then off I am to another country. =)

I would be lying if I were to say that my wound has healed. But nonetheless, I believe that there's something for me to learn from this, as well as that there's something better waiting for me! It would be quite a painful wait till then, which I may only realise years later, but I'm sure I would see the greatness behind this whole plan eventually.

Clarissa: Ok, I shall wait patiently.