:S

Oh my gosh! How much more fickle-minded can i be??!! For the past few days and months, I was telling myself that I would probably apply for this thing. I kind of really wanted it. So finally, I had the courage to apply for it. I clicked apply and started typing some of the required info. And the more I type, the more an inner voice tell me to stop and give up on the application. So, i stopped and logged out of the website. Now, I was thinking through my thinking process I went through some time back that made me derive to my 'YES' decision. Everything seems fine, and I'm tempted to say OK again. It seems that my decision process didn't go wrong, and it's something I want. BUT... I've got this feeling of " NO, don't go there. Come back."

Aarrrggghhh, can someone tell me what's going on in me? Is it me imagining things, or it is really happening? Time is running out, can someone tell me what to do? Can someone decide for me? Why can't I be given a definite answer? Why keep tempting me back and forth? Who's right and who's wrong? Hey bad influencer, can you just go away and leave me in peace, I don't want any of your input. Thank you very much.